Happy Lala Land

just getting a new addy...

go add "if-i-have-to-go"
thankies.

Yay I'm ill... hopefully no school tomorrow because I am sick and fucking tired of myself.
I'm terrible.
-kick-me-

I love you all soooooo much

Kate... damn it why are you so..
-smart
-lovely
-intelligent
-helpful
-pretty

Daryl... you are just the angel of all things cool
and I love you for that

Tom.. now that goes without saying..

That's probably everyone who'll look at this >_>

Thanks for everyone who's there for me

Especially Tom and Kate
You two the last couple of days have been awesome
I miss Daryl.. I just haven't spoken to her
I wonder if she's still here
>_>

"I'll let you into a little secret.
Yeah...
All old people were 15 once, we all know how it feels to think the world is against you"

Well if you ever say this to a child... don't expect them not to go stress
All fucking morning HE screwed at me
Not the mother like I expect
HIM
Then he tried to fuck it up worse by yelling at me for not showing my mother my grades
When he knew full well that he had them
They weren't fucking bad grades
but you all made me feel like shit
Infact they were fucking good grades
And now I've been crying so much
I'm so fucking stressed
I'm off to write my party Uber-sex song
Because I'm depressed
Better write happy things
Before I fucking take a knife and put it through someone..
Preferably the two people who made it feel like they were putting a knife in my heart for the last 2 days.
Fuck YOU



And I mean this more than when you hit me
I mean this more than when you hated me
This hurts cause you say you love me
Then you rip away my heart and leave my body black and blue

:(
I feel crap.
I'm so confused.
I don't know why.
Meh.
I'm just scared at the moment.
I'm just so rude and I can't cope with anyone.
Just noises can make me throw up.
:(
I suck.

It's been a month
I know.. a tad pathetic
But I guess I'm happy?
It got pointed out to me and I was kinda suprised
Feels like yesterday
Happy.

And as I tried to reach out to you, tried to grab hold of you my star, the pointed edges ripped open my hand, bleeding as I fell. Can't you see we fell faster than we ran, slipped on each cloud and fell back to the ground. Every time I fell and reached for you, you flew higher, closer to the sun as it haloed you, melting my wings as I drifted out of sight.

So now I watch you fly, like a bird, talented as you drift over the breeze, over the troubles, never looking down at me, never even noticing me as I struggle through to try and reach you, desperately trying to fly. I look down at my hand, thinking of the time I had you in my arms, yet my weak humanity made me let go of the best thing I ever held.

Cursing I cut off my hand, hardly being able to bear staring at the scar any longer, not being able to see how close I once was to you. And as I look at the blood, I realise how stupid I've been, no longer able to think I lay down, feeling a bit closer to you than I've ever been. Feeling suddenly like I'm further from you than I will ever be again.

Tralalalala
That is all
:D

:(
This is a sad sad situation.
Yes.. partially cause Tom's in Wales and I've misplaced my spaceship so I can't abduct him.
But mostly cause after last night with the whole Davian's party, getting harrased by someone thing.
It made me sad
I thought this had gone away
Maybe it hasn't
:(
I should cheer up.
Yes I know.
But it's so.. upsetting.
Ich hasse ihn.
Viel.
:(
Actually I'm not sure if it's me or him now
:(
Why don't I just shut up?
If my room wasn't such a mess I might have been able to abduct tom :( anyone got a spare spaceship?

Saw Tom
made myself happy
He's incredible
I love him
That's really it..
Everything about him's incredible

Was all sad today
But as per usual got dragged out of it by Tom
damn it
Got absolutely soaked wandering around with him
He's so awesome
He's great
Also managed to convince him he wants to at least try wearing
>_> a little bit
of make up..
tee hee.
:P
High chances he'll back off..
tee hee.

I'm a twisted whore
I can't believe I told Tom
I don't know why
The Grey-mister was his usual lovely self
Tom was so perfect today
As he always is
It makes me happy and sad at the same time
Yes I want him to read this
Yes I want him to know I'm sorry
Sorry for being a fuck up
Sorry for everything about me
I want him to not feel sorry for me
Even though I know he does
.I want him.
Lovely wave from Kate today, made me feel all childish and happy today
He caught the bus with me to Romford and we wasted forever in Romford
I just savoured every minute
He just shrugged his shoulders telling me that I wasn't forcing him to hang around
That made me feel better
He's so beautiful
Plus always warm
Even when he's cold
I never wanna let go of his hand
Goddam school
I have a dance trip on Friday
Which involves me hanging round Upminster for over an hour on my own
I'm such a loner
Yes I'm paying in time and money to see a crappy dance
With Mrs. Marshall
Who Ich hasse
Damn me..
:(
Almost cried today
For absolutely no reason
.Sorry.

Things.
Suck.
I don't know why.
Don't even ask I think...
actually I do know.
Tom is perfect, incredibly so.
And he makes me feel great
But everyday I have to come back to this.
And they just take me straight down.
I know why it is..
Infact I understand perfectly why she does this..
What I don't understand is why bruising me helps.
I have a lovely hand shaped bruise on my leg..
She hates me
:(
Damn... I wish I could just straddle the best of both words
No I don't mean it like that
Better press the delete button
Now I don't know whether to submit this.
But I dont care.

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
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You're Soroity Slut Barbie! You're easy and you're
really cheesy! Have fun with the entire
football team.


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
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SCORE


Evil Ruler of the World, and liking it:

You're evil, hip, and know that everyone better
listen or else. I think someday you'd make a
great President of the United States, any gal
would be better than what we got now. Plus,
evil IS the new goody two shoes.


Who Are You?
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I just wanna say thanks to everyone who commented on my last post, it made me feel so special. And Kate's little smile and thumbs up today :D and all those people who won't read this.
I'm in such an incredible mood, and I can't tell you how much I wanna say thanks to you all :)
Love you all
Yes my posts are no longer locked for Tom's unwillingness to sign up 8-)
xx

Well done to you! You’re like one of those dictators who kills their own people: you get a trophy! Almost the highest category, and above Kilted Eddie and the lowly Plain-clothes Eddie! You know your Eddie Izzard pretty well, and are just glowing with Izzard-ness!

Wow.. Am I really like one of those dictators?